2018, November
Ive had a marvellous year here at the palace, a long hot summer, lots of wonderful weekends away, some great friends. The kids seem settled, mother seems happy.
But I'm distracted by my friend Mark who died, too young, too soon, the enormity, the unjustness of someone passing away when they had so much to live for at such a young age. He was my friend, not my greatest friend but I knew his hopes plans and dreams, he was just entering his next chapter, except he never got there...
The fragility of life, the shortness and the need to make the most of it came crashing into clarity in the weeks after his death. Rightly or wrongly I focussed on my life.
Great job, great friends, no money worries, single (meh) and healthy. So what was it, why did I feel I want really living it? Where were my passions, what did I want to do, to be?
Waking one morning and watching the sunrise it hit me, the answer was always there, I just needed to look. All the weekends away, all the mini trips abroad, and the bigger ones, the camper van, travelling was my passion. The weekends passed too fast, how could I achieve one big weekend?
And here I am, four weeks away from ending my career, leaving my home, friends and family and Taz of course.
It still feels ok, right, I am sad a little too, but my brain is focused forward, I think if what may come, I need to follow my heart, my head, my dreams. The number of friends and colleagues who have said they would love to do this but they are too afraid/committed has astounded me, I was more expecting to be told I was a nutter, that's the usual response I get!
I currently having to be very grown up and sort my possessions my paperwork and my diary full of 'final' meetings with friends colleagues and family. Its interesting how free It feels to get rid of the weight of possessions (I have kept some but not many)
one more payslip and ill be unemployed
one more month and ill be thousands of miles away
First stop is Tenerife to visit friends, then Madrid and Cape Town. After that? Well you'll have to keep reading this and ill tell you, because honestly, I don't know.
The world is truly my lobster. I wonder if my lobster is ready for me though?
